Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Janus Tributes: PLAY

Otherwise known as FAST-FORWARD v2.0. But I changed it for this year, because I fast-forward is, well, something I want to avoid doing this year.

I still believe in New Year's resolutions--though not the kind where I promise to clean my room more often and not cram my homework. Those are 18 year-old promises that I've long since given up real hope on. As the priest said in his homily yesterday evening, a wishlist is different from a resolution. A wishlist is where you want to be, but a resolution is a map of the road you'll take. And while I'm sure my mom's wishlist includes me waxing the floors and organizing my drawers more often, I've got other plans.

Actually I have just one resolution. And cliche as is it, this is the first time I'm resolving to do this--to live in the moment. I used to be a planner--but if there's anything I've learned in the last year, it's that life is surprising, and that's mostly because there is a Higher Being who has better plans for me.

I'm not saying I'll be carefree and stupid this year. Of course I'll have to do a little thinking ahead. I just won't be as stubborn. I'm learning, slowly and steadily, when to push on and when to quit. I'm starting to see the difference between trying to open doors and trying to ram into walls.

I will, of course, still strive to make progress. As Jek told me in one of my darker moods (from Meet The Robinsons)--KEEP MOVING FORWARD! But steadily this time, no more rushing.

I will try not to let a day go by unlived and meaningless (although it will be a challenge to derive meaning from a weekend afternoon on an HBO marathon). I will live and learn from the best and the worst days of this coming year, because I know I'll never be able to get them back. Each day will be different, and I'm realizing that it's quite a shame to miss one. Yes, even the really bad days are worth living. Damn, I'm sounding too optimistic. Quickmelt mode. Haha.
..I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life...
-Henry David Thoreau, an excerpt from Walden
And my mom might be glad after all, because I'm suspecting that to the phrase carpe diem might involve scrubbing and waxing floors, too, some days.

Today is January 1, 2009. It's a New Year. Let's live it well and keep moving forward. :)

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