Sunday, December 7, 2008

What's Wrong With Me?

Garrr. I hate this feeling. I hate going mushy emo over my oh so unfortunate love life. But damn, I just don't know what's wrong with me. This is overkill, not because I'm letting someone take advantage of me--I just want to clarify that. I'm not in martyrdom mode. Things are just so complicated. I'm ranting because I can't get what--or who--I want. And I've never wanted anything or anyone this badly.

I'm ranting because it stings to see that one person I love (yeah, okay. I mean it.) and not being able to make her happy, no matter what I do. I'd happily cut off an arm or a leg just to get her back to her old self--well, not literally--but there's really nothing I can do about it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I'm just not good enough. Hanging around and bugging her doesn't seem to even be amusing, at the very least. And there are other, minor complications too--and one of them is really...I don't know. But that's another thing. So now what?

Okay, I just sounded like I might as well be writing to Dr. Love or what the hell. So I'll stop this now.

As usual, the question I began with will be left unanswered and I will continue feeling miserable and stupidly dramatic. But well, another day down. I'll live through it. I'll get by with the holidays, and with the rest of my zero love life days. I have my friends anyway. Then someday, I will be wholly, really frickin' happy again. Someday.

3 comments:

juvy said...

You know what, I've asked myself that question a thousand times.. and still I haven't got my answer. :) there's nothing wrong. maybe you just haven't seen the right one for you yet. :)

rz fortajada said...

Just saw this today, nagreply ka pala. :) Thanks. That was comforting. :P Baka ikaw din, hindi mo pa nakikita. :)

Anonymous said...

it's one of those days when you just want to be your real, crazy being and wish for the old days to come back. i feel exactly the same. :)

anyway, your blogs are pretty interesting. :)

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