As I've learned in my interpersonal communication class, there is this thing called post-decision dissonance. If I've learned anything right in class, this simply pertains to the doubts one encounters after making a particular decision. This is usually where rationalization kicks in, and you find that you're defending yourself against, well, your own arguments. Happens to all of us, doesn't it?
In class, we were given the compulsive shopper example. But since I am among the rare subspecies of females/human beings in general who do not derive utter joy from draining my wallet in one shopping session--I'm more of the type who takes light years to decide on whether or not to buy even just a shirt--I really couldn't relate to it. Last Thursday night/Friday morning though, I realized that I might have found another common illustration.
You've probably heard of the Latin phrase in vino veritas, translated in English as in wine there is [the] truth. The most common explanation for why people do the stupid things they do when they're drunk is that it's their natural self coming out, with all their repressions thrown out the window.
Cuervo not included in this shot.
After all, it's so easy to say "oh, I was drunk, I didn't even know half of what I said". I don't know, but I'm still pretty unsure about that one. I'm certainly no expert when it comes to drinking. Sure, I might forget more than half of what I say when I'm drunk, but the things I do remember, well, they are all true.
Case in point: so I got emo-drunk at our batch party and I ended up doing a monologue of sorts. It's all hazy, but thinking back I realized that a lot of the things I said were honest as hell and that it was the first time I had ever shared those kinds of thoughts to a group of people I barely knew.
I know the alcohol had probably killed way too much of my repressive brain cells at the time, but I don't lay the blame on it entirely. I know I made a conscious decision to start talking, and I know for a fact I was still able to filter what needed to be filtered (well, with some people anyway).
So I don't know. Maybe alcohol is what leads us to betray ourselves. But we shouldn't absolve ourselves from all responsibility for the things we do or say. (Unless, perhaps, you've drunk enough to be in a coma, but then at that point you can't really do or say anything, so nevermind).
The thing is, we wouldn't even have to worry about this if we weren't hiding so many things in the first place. As for myself, I was embarrassing, but ask me right now and I can tell you the exact things I shared that morning. I wasn't really hiding them, just not so keen on sharing them to everyone.
But seeing that the world is so full of people who are so good at hiding and not expressing what they really feel, maybe we should all hold a worldwide drinking session so we can let it out. I'm kidding, of course. I'm pretty sure that would do more harm than good--imagine learning that your best friend is harboring some secret desire for your mom or something like that.
All I'm saying is that, if it's not really criminal, abhorrently immoral, or devastatingly hurtful, try letting it out. Don't wait for the empty bottles to betray you into spilling what you've kept bottled in for so long.
Cheers to a Merry Christmas folks.
And regards from me and my drinking buddies. They'll hate me for this. Hahaha.
CREDITS: All photos in this post (and in the one before this, too) are courtesy of Ria Landingin.