Where Are You Going?

Don't hide away like an ocean
that you can't see but you can smell
And the sound of the waves crash down

I've gone missing for a few days, for two main reasons. One is that our internet connection sucks bigtime. Haha. It was down for two days, hence my social networks have all been abandoned.

Reason number two is that I've taken to volunteering in the past three days. Since Tuesday, I've been in UP Manila, repacking goods for distribution to Cainta tomorrow. It's sad that my parents didn't allow me to volunteer for deployment. But well, I'm glad I was able to make the most out of my week-long break. Unfortunately, making the most out of my week does not include finishing (or even starting on) any of my academic requirements. Am gonna have to cram during the weekend after all. *Sigh*

* * * * *

After a particularly dragging (and ever so slightly awkward), but fulfilling day in school, I went straight to watch and help set up for a gig somewhere in Makati. It was more of tambay time than helping out. I went there to clear my head, but as usual, I couldn't squeeze an ounce of insight from Borgs and his band mates. At least the music was great.

Among the songs, one in particular stuck. Actually, I've been loving Dave Matthews Band's Where Are You Going for a couple of days now. Hearing that song tonight (or last night) made me think about the thousands of homeless people affected by the typhoon, with nowhere to go. I watch the news every evening when I can, and it's tough to see the devastation that Ondoy has brought about. Rebuilding a nation, both physically and psychologically is a tough task. But as they've said, we are a resilient people. We'll make it through this challenge, just like we've made it through everything else.

If along the way, you are growing weary,
you can rest with me until a brighter day

On a personal note (yes, this is my blog and my ego dictates that everything has to have something to do with me), I guess the song title is a question I've been asking myself lately. No, I'm not confused. Yeah, I'm sure I'm not confused. I'm just wandering around.

Where are you going? Where do you go?
Are you looking for answers, for reasons under the stars?

This is a little dilemma brought about again by the fact that I like to think ahead. I hate how when I find myself one place, I feel the need to know why I'm there, and where I'm headed next. The computer scientist in me loves algorithms and a logical sequence of events. But life is just so effing crazy, and not everything has logic in it. I want to stop thinking, planning, and figuring out and just live everyday instead.

I am no Superman, I have no reasons for you
I am no hero, oh, that's for sure

So maybe I'm giving spontaneity a try, and it's turning out to be good. I just need to get used to not having such a tight grip on everything and everyone for once. Thus my current motto is simple: LOOSEN UP.

But I do know one thing, where you are is where I belong
I do know where you go, is where I want to be

*Incoherent post, I apologize. My brain cells aren't quite working right.