A New Coat Of Paint

So my blog has a new look, mostly because I had technical difficulties with the previous one (i.e., the theme images wouldn't load and I couldn't even upload them to my own photo hosting account). This template is pretty common, since it's one of the few that Blogger offers, but it's actually quite appropriate for my site title.

What I love about these customizable blogs--aside from the fact that they don't cost me bloody money like owning a domain would--is that you can change their entire look with one click of a button. Or a couple, actually, but you get my point.

I know some people would love to have that. An entirely new image, pulled off in a snap. Yeah, I kind of hate to admit it but I'm talking yet again about change.

Change. Sometimes we dread and fear it. Yet some part of us also looks forward to it and gets excited about it, because at some level we know we need it.

I guess that anyone who has at least gone through puberty has encountered a personal crisis of sorts, no matter how minor. (If you are an exception to this rule, damn, you're lucky. Or weird.) And it's usually during these times that we feel we need to alter ourselves in some way.

Relationships are suckers for change too. Every time we get into fights and arguments with the people we care about, do we not promise to change our habits, or our attitudes, or what not? With every break-up and the succeeding make-up, each couple makes a point of changing their relationship.

Relationships, both intrapersonal and interpersonal, require a fair amount of renovation and repainting.

But I get this feeling, that no matter how many renovations we make inside ourselves, our connections and relationships; no matter how shiny and bright and different we paint the outer walls, there is always something at the very core that remains.

This realization, for me, is mixed news. I mean, it's not pleasant to know that you and your partner might keep on fighting in the same way, or that there is perhaps some undesirable quality of yours that you can't junk just yet. But it's also quite comforting to think that along with the annoying fights, the sincerity of your feelings remain, or that your lovable quirks are still there for your friends to laugh at.

I'm not sure about that, however, since people do choose what and how much they alter. I guess the only thing I'm really grateful for is the small personal belief I have now: that no matter how big a change life can bring me, I won't really be a total stranger to myself and to my relationships--because if I look closely enough, I will find home even in something seemingly too different.