Beautiful, But A Mess Nonetheless

From now on Jason Mraz's A Beautiful Mess will always remind me of last night, and of nights similar to it. Nights out with good friends and strangers; the taste of new beer and the undiscarded memories of an old life. Not that the lyrics fit the situation, it's just that this was on my playlist before I left home and Drew decided to feed my last song syndrome by putting the song on loop in the car all the way from Makati to Kuya Fred's near Katipunan--and he was all for playing it on the ride back too, had I not seriously threatened to throw his phone out the window.

Last night was fun. Some post-Christmas, pre-New Year get together with almost total strangers for me--I'm just the kid that pseudo-big brother dragged along. I say almost because there were some people from the old crowd I met last sem break. Their work-related conversations bored the hell out of me, but the evening wasn't without its comic moments. Funniest was me "getting hit on" (Drew's term) by a straight and apparently very drunk girl. I didn't know if she was trying to humor me, insult me, or if she was just in over her head with alcohol. It was a mixture of being creeped out and amused at the same time. Luckily her friends distracted her with more interesting matters. I do hope we don't run into each other any time soon. Haha.

But I--oh yes I am--in a beautiful mess. Early on a Sunday morning, with the beginnings of a headache, is perhaps not the best time for reflections about one's life. And well, I don't really know what I'm doing with my life right now. Just cutting myself some slack, hanging back, and not trying to solve any problems for once. Not sleeping, but not nearly thinking as much as I used to do. I'm doing fine. I'm great. Or maybe not, but I don't care anyway.


We tore our dresses and stained our shirts, but it's nice today...
yes, the wait will be worth it.