Deadlines

I'm still swamped. Literally. I'm waist-deep in papers—though I'm usually seated on the floor when I sort through them—but well, you get the point. The hell weeks of college life are upon us once more, and the only thing I can do is to blog about it.

Actually, I meant to write this post weeks ago, at the onset of this semester's hell month. But it ended up being crammed, much like my academic work. I've gone through about two weeks of hell, and now I'm one week shy of being able to sleep normally again. I have one case study and three final exams left before I can close my eyes at night and not think of what I'll have to get done by tomorrow.

Of course, with tons of requirements come—well yes, great responsibility—as well several bottles of Red Bull, cups of coffee, and piles of junk food. But the word I was looking for before I got distracted was actually deadlines.

I hate deadlines. No actually I love them. (I'm clearly disoriented from lack of sleep and I can't decide where this blog is really going.) Well, it's a love-hate relationship I guess. I hate them because each deadline means more work and more internal panic attacks. At the same time I love them because they give me something to work for, a definite point in time when the effort (or lack thereof) put into a particular task will have to end. And of course I love being productive. Nevermind the fact that I haven't quite learned how.

So the thing is this: I love deadlines because I love productivity. But I hate them because I find that I'm never ready when they roll around.

I love Dali.

I know, it's my fault for being such a procrastinator. I wait around. A lot. That's why I've been dubbed as tambay idol (I have a seven-hour record as of yesterday). When I recall how I've been spending time recently, I imagine my days as a time-lapse video. There's me, sitting somewhere—in our ComSci tamabayan, or some place to eat, or some coffee shop—while everyone around me goes through life in full speed. I, on the other hand, am seemingly stuck in a time zone entirely of my own creation. I'm always moving too slow, waiting for something even I can't identify.

In case you weren't able to follow my pseudo-insightful mode, I'd just like to clarify that I've gone beyond academic work here. My personal life time management skill sucks just as much as its academic counterpart.

All my life I always end up trying to beat the deadlines. I got into a college course, and shifted to another one after two years—I waited one year too long. I often pile up a lot of transgressions against my girlfriend and I wait until she's tired and frustrated before I start trying to shape up. These were the times I got lucky, when I made it, even if it was just in the nick of time.

Other times, I haven't been so fortunate. I've shut people out until they're gone completely. Until they've left, until we've lost all contact. I didn't know there was even a deadline in the first place and I missed it.

So I promise myself to watch out for deadlines, and even prevent them, as in the case of my relationships. I may be a master crammer, but sometimes there's just too much at risk. The most important things in our lives shouldn't have to wait until the last minute.

Binat

So it's a Friday morning and I'm not supposed to be home. I'm supposed to be in school, listening to a report about organizations as cultures. But for the second time this semester, I'm skipping out on my "terror" prof's class.

You see, I got sick. I didn't know what hit me. I partied Saturday night, then pulled an almost-all-nighter on Monday, which made it quite understandable when I went to class partly wasted on Tuesday. I woke up on Wednesday feeling like I was going to have a cold, and by the time I got home from class, I was feverish. By midnight I had the flu, and my temperature was steadily rising. At around 5 or something, I had chills, and when I didn't stop shaking my parents brought me in for a check-up.

Turns out it was binat. It's one of those Filipino words which have no exact counterpart in English, I don't know, perhaps it could be relapse? I was sick since the first week of February, and I thought my cough and colds were all gone but apparently they weren't. So now it's back and it's worse. It's like twice the flu I had in the past two weeks, ugh.
 

But I guess it's not so bad—it did give me an opportunity to blog. I've been so caught up in stuff lately that it seems like the only time I can sit in front of my laptop and cough up a few paragraphs of thoughts (pun not so intended), is when I'm forced to stay home to rest and drink a cocktail of capsules and tablets.
 

I wish I could say that I had a life-changing insight during the time they brought me to the hospital and the nurses were sticking needles and drawing blood from my arm, but no such luck. It wasn't like it was a near-death experience anyway. I just got scolded several times, by my parents, by the doctor, and by my ancient pediatrician who happened to be around that time.
 

 Uh-oh. Sorry, I couldn't find anything better. Haha.

However, I did learn two simple lessons. One is to slow down a little. I haven't exactly been the busiest student—I admit that I spend a hefty amount of time everyday just idly loitering around, thus earning me the title of tambay idol from my friends. But all the same, there's no time to just breathe and rest and not think about anything negative, or anything I need to do for tomorrow. It's so fast-paced. Meeting new people, falling out with old friends, coming together, and growing apart. Spending every single day planning for the next few days and executing yesterday's plans. I've been so busy running around after eveything and everyone, and all the stress has finally caught up with me.
 

The other thing I learned, is about the concept of binat. It's not just about being sick, it's about all the other negative things in life that we keep inside, too. Sometimes we have ill feelings toward other people, or unresolved issues which we keep under the surface for too long, hoping that we never have to face them. But like my disgusting colds, we have to make sure everything is flushed out of our system, or else they'll keep mutiplying inside and finally take their toll some other time, seemingly out of nowhere.
 

Oh, there's a third lesson, too—and this is probably the most important out of all I've been yakking about:

Kids, always drink your vitamins. They really keep you healthy and save you the trouble of getting sick like I did.

Stay healthy, folks.

Pre-Valentine's Fashion Party

I hate to commercialize, but hey. For the love of my org. Haha. I promise to do this only when necessary.

The UP Manila Junior Marketing Association brings you:


Velvet Kiss: The Red-Haute Couture
Feb. 13, 2010 at the Fuel Bar, The Fort Strip

FREE FLOWING DRINKS! Plus a Fashion Party featuring designs of Veejay Floresca of Project Runway Philippines, clothes by Poisonberry, lingerie of Lady Grace.

Pre-selling price: Php180 until Feb. 12.

For inquiries and tickets comment here, or PM me on my Facebook account. (Uhhm, pretty please? :P)

The Post That Has No Point

Aren't you getting tired of me saying "it's been a while, but I'm back" every month or something? Well, I am. I've now realized that I can't guarantee any regularity in my posts anymore. Fact is, I kind of have a life at the moment, and often I'm just too tired or preoccupied (with, say, my How I Met Your Mother Marathons) to actually write about it. I guess you could say inspiration took a break from me.

Man, I've been swamped. I could ramble all day about school work, or about the hassles of good old everyday commuting, but tonight I just don't want to. Tonight, I just want to relax and smile and breathe the world in.

 

Something happened last week. I kind of got into a fight. Long story short, I got told a few things about me that I wasn't so glad to hear about. But in retrospect, I know they're true, and I'm glad I heard them. My bubble does need a healthy bursting every now and then. The thing is, that fight was probably the first and last I'd have with that friend in a while--she's accepting a job offer abroad, leaving in a month. 

And then this week, just tonight, I was with my ComSci friends on an impromptu DPSM Film Fest Premiere Night viewing. It was fun, but honestly it did get boring. I realized the only thing keeping me there was that I wanted to watch my friends, the people I knew.

[insert One-Tree-Hill-ish background music here]

I also realized that year after year, a bunch of my friends turn into seniors and graduate. Others, still turn into professionals, breadwinners, or simply people with high ambitions for their careers, who take off in pursuit of those goals. The thing is, they usually leave once I've just gotten close to them. I don't know why, but I often end up bonding with people just some months before they graduate or leave the country, or move some place else.

Which is bad, since I'm the super clingy type of friend, the one who'd rather keep all the people I love near me forever and ever, if I could. But I'm learning that while it's sad how people come and go, it's also one of the best things in life, I think.

I've always been happy to meet new people and create new adventures with them, but I guess it's only now that I appreciate the beauty having to say goodbye to people. Some people just have to leave, because they've served their purpose in our lives and it's time to move on to new adventures with new people.

And even if I've only had what seems to be such a short time to spend with those people, I think that in a way, that's the exact amount of time I need with them, maybe. That way I get to treasure my adventures with them more.

So this has turned into the sobrang cheesy talaga! post with no point. All I really want to say is, you, my friends, are such wonderful people. Thank you for making me feel right at home with you no matter how stupid or crazy I get.

[end of One-Tree-Hill-ish background music]

Photo caption:  HIMYM is like a year2000something version of FRIENDS. ;)

Formspring Me!

Okay, so I don't have a year-ender/starter yet. I'm sorry, I don't get much time to get reflective and mushy okay? Haha. In fact, this blog is just a break from the monotony and utter stressfulness of my nearly-academic-again life.

Anyway, so there's this formspring thing, where people ask questions and you answer. Simple enough. And since I have the ability to be bored and incredibly busy at the same time, I've decided to jump on the bandwagon.

So if you've got any questions for me, ask away.

Refer to the page for my answers too, I wouldn't want my blog to be some sort of Q&A thing. That was for Multiply, which I've gotten over. Haha.

Have fun.