Monday, February 9, 2009

The Light of Dead Stars

I don't know why we hold on to things, especially emotions. I know I can watch a movie five times over and still laugh or cry over the same scenes. I know I can hear a song and still swoon in the way I did years ago when I first heard it. It's a human habit, holding on.

We hold on for so long that the people, places and events are long gone, over and done--but we still aren't. And honestly, from what I've seen, heard, and felt all these years, emotions can be overrated.

Everyone knows you can only keep on crying for so long--eventually you'll start to feel overwhelmingly depressed. You can't keep on laughing either--you'll run out breath, and it eventually feels horrible. When you're trapped in a particular emotion, it's hard to believe it will ever end, but I've learned that it does. It may take a while, but stars die too.

So it's good to check on yourself once in a while, stop holding on to the things that you've actually left behind. Emo may be a fashion, but it gets tiring real soon. Haha.

As for me, I'm trying to sort out my dead stars from the ones that are still alive, and I'm getting there. The dust is settling. As the story goes, I've pressed hands (let's not take that literally) and have felt undisturbed and emotionless, though not with all of them. But it's a start.

I know I wouldn't want to be seeing the light of dead stars, long extinguished, yet seemingly still in their appointed places in the heavens.


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